Secrets of the Dead
by hajimenokizu
Summary: We all have a past and within that past lies secrets that has the capacity to make or break us. The untold story of Saitou Hajime's first wife, Yaso. Warning: AltpairMature situations
1. Prologue

Prologue: A Cold Wind through a Frozen Heart

She was a ghost. Tokio Takagi shook as the woman of her nightmares appeared before her once again. She dug into her palm trying to waken from the bad dream.

"I thought you were dead." Tokio held her hands almost covering her mouth. Her round eyes grew rounder as she stared at the apparition.

"That's what they told you." The woman answered holding Tokio's gaze. "It seems, I was right after all. You were guilty from the beginning."

"Are you here to take him back?" Tokio could hear herself croak and at once she chided herself for being weak in front of the woman whom she was able to usurp. She wondered if it was because she was privy to the truth back then.

"Tell me Fujita-san… How does it feel to be in my place? Can you sleep at night knowing what you and the others did?"

Tokio shook her head. It was a bad dream. When she had heard of Yaso's death, she was relieved. But now that Hajime's first wife stood before her, it was a testament to the mistakes back then and now the shadow had materialized to flesh and blood that was here demanding her attention.

"I cannot give you an answer Shinoda-san."

Yaso took a step forward and unveiled the hood that covered her face from the cold wind that winter night, a ghostly vision of a woman who's learned the harsh ways of the world from those she trusted. Her eyes were like glass, clear and reflective of the one who stood before her, staring into those dark brown eyes made Tokio feel like she was standing strip naked on slippery ice, ready to take a fall.

"You forget "Fujita"-san… That I am also his wife, the wife of Ichinohe Denpachi… even if he is a Fujita now."

"He values that name bestowed to him by Matsudaira-sama."

Yaso nodded her head; suddenly things were all too clear. And yet a stubborn part in her told her that it couldn't be true. The man she loved had no desire for status or prestigious names. If that was the case, then he was not Yamaguchi Hajime. His real self knew of prejudice, his father, the Shinsengumi, all his life experiences had thought him that. If he had forgotten who he was… then indeed she had lost him.

"So he's changed…" Yaso looked down, "The man who professed his loyalty to Japan is nothing more than a bumbling idiot who prances around with fancy names along with your high profile -connections-." Yaso smiled bitterly, for a moment she sounded just like him, speaking a truth that was sharp as his sword.

"No… He still choses Japan over his family." Tokio looked away. It was something she couldn't understand well. Why a man like her husband, would not give up the sword and just be happy with the life they had. Why she still had to bear with all the fighting, she had enough of it. She just wanted a new life…

"I see… And you are not happy with his choices."

"He is a strong man; it was something that had me…"

"Something that made you want him? That you thought he would be the one to take care of you and take you away from that forsaken place?"

"Yes."

"Then you do not understand him." Yaso stepped forward, "How can you call yourself a wife not understanding who he is…" And at that moment Yaso decided that she will see Hajime. "Where is he?"

"He is at home…" Tokio answered nervously. "He is with a doctor. He was injured…"

Yaso's eyes flared. "Tokio, someday you will need to learn your priorities. If you love him, there is no reason for you to be standing here."

Yaso followed Tokio back to Ueno, all the while asking herself, would she take back what was rightfully hers? But she knew that in the end it would be up to him, after all if he no longer loves her, there would be no choice but to let him remain by Tokio's side.

* * *

Note: More than two years ago I stumbled upon information about Saitou's first wife in RL named Shinoda Yaso. This is a take on RK Saitou placing him in the circumstances surrounding his RL counterpart but the focus is his forgotten and I think –much- neglected first wife, Yaso. Some of the events are fictional and some true. This story should be read with an open mind as you already see in this prologue. Constructive comments are always welcome. 

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. RK Saitou is Watsuki sensei's. 


	2. Crossroads

Chapter 2: Crossroads

He came by boat to Tonami along with the others who had been released that year. The Meiji government had finally decided that they, a bunch of beaten men - or losers as some would like to call them - would no longer be able to hold their own against the new government. Indeed, they were even praised for their good behavior, for not running away even when the gates were wide open and there were minimal guards. They came and went as they pleased as long as they observed curfew, much like well-trained dogs. He had always wondered why in the world he didn't –leave-, perhaps it was because he had no other place to go to aside from back to Aizu. There was his brother Hiroaki, but their strained relations made that out of the question. Strange as it was that he would choose to come here where they were, considering how he and his comrades were looked upon with contempt during the Boshin war, especially after the battle at Shiragawa castle when Hijikata had decided to leave for Hokkaido to join Enamoto.

"_Tch… Go and follow Hijikata! We do not need you."_

"_As far as I can tell Yaeko, your people are dropping like flies. Perhaps next time you engage in a war, instead of calling men, women and even –children- to the front, you'd have considered your resources."_

"_Shut your Shinsengumi trap! We are in a war because you didn't do your job in Kyoto! And as for the Aizu han fighting a losing war… There is no dishonor in that unlike your Fukuchou Hijikata abandoning us!."_

"_But there is dishonor in dying –needlessly- and I am here in Hijikata-san's stead."_

"_You two! Stop arguing!"_

"_Tch… That Yamakawa… he's always flailing his authority around. And you! You and your men are nothing but a paltry token of his!"_

"_Think what you want. I pray for Aizu's sake that not all women are like you."_

"_Shut up!"_

Grabbing his knapsack, he threw it over his shoulder. He had very little money, no sword, no possessions, aside from a diary and some clothes he kept while in detention. His eyes scanned the perimeter and he felt himself wince at the sudden arctic breeze. It was not a joke after all, the refugee settlement was in the barest part of the northern peninsula. Digging his heel into the ground to check the earth, there was nothing but frozen dirt. Perhaps he'd made a mistake, he mused but threw the notion to the side. He came here with a purpose and what better place to find that strong sentiment than with the people once affluent, tasted the bitter loses of war? Tonami was perfect.

"Attention everyone! All of you who just disembarked please head over to the Administration building!" A young man, probably no more than seventeen ushered them across the street from the Miura store. Saitou Hajime were amongst the last to enter the building, not being the type who liked crowds, he waited outside watching the few people who littered the streets. Most wore straw hats and coats that he could barely tell who were men and who were women from their ragged clothing and how everyone seem to haul something on their backs, much like those merchants he saw along the Tokaido road on his way to Kyoto. Finally the last group came out and he strode languidly into the hall. It was not much to speak of, actually it was like one big warehouse where there were no offices. He chuckled to himself, of course, after all what did he expect out here? Each building he saw before reminded him of makeshift shacks and for all intensive purposes, the administration building at least was a mix of concrete and wood.

"Your name?"

He thought for a moment. He could say he was Yamaguchi Jirou, the Shinsengumi soldier who fought for them in the Aizu war, but with the resentment he'd experienced first hand, he decided against it.

"Ichinouhe Denpachi."

"Do you have any relatives? A place to stay?"

"No."

The record keeper smiled wryly for a second. "Much like most of us ne?"

"It seems so."

"Blasted Meiji opportunist…" the man mumbled and Saitou felt a grin creep up his lips. If most of the men here felt the same way, then all the better. "You'll have to stay at these barracks in the meantime while we find a suitable place and duties for you."

"I am a samurai, if that will help."

"Not really Ichinouhe-san, no one here needs the services of a samurai."

"Oh?" So much for his sword skills, he had hoped it was one thing that could sustain him for a while considering he had no other skills nor learning to speak of. Unlike Kondou and Hijikata, he was not a man of many talents, from childhood till he joined the Shinsengumi, he decided since he wasn't the son of a farmer, nor was he man of the pen, his focus would be the different sword schools, from Itto-ryu, Mugai-ryu and others like the Tennen-Rishin Ryu.

"Maybe we can assign you to the building committee, but you'll have to wait come back in the afternoon the Chairman should be here by then. Feel free to go around the settlement and acquaint yourself."

* * *

"Oh no! Yoshi-san!" The slender woman ran into the kitchen and lifted the lid of the clay pot, inside it was a perfect pot of boiled rice.

"Eh? Yaso did I do something wrong?" He asked quite puzzled. Indeed everyone in the whole of Japan, whether they be samurai or farmer… even children knew how to boil a pot of rice. He looked towards the door where a much older man was standing. He had a makeshift hand plow and was laughing softly. "Ueda-san! You're a farmer! Come over here and tell Yaso that this rice is perfect."

The old man closed the door behind him and looked over Yaso's shoulder. "That probably used up a third of this weeks ration…"

"Gomenasai Ueda-san… I went out to find some wild root crops and didn't get back in time to prepare lunch."

"Maa… There's no use worrying about this. Taiki! Go call the others."

Yaso stopped Yoshi from going out. "Call them in ten minutes. I'll add some water and salt to this… If we make it into gruel it will last us longer."

The old man nodded, had his wife not been taken ill and left them, she would've said the same thing. In a way, he was glad that Taiki chose not to abandon the young woman. He'd heard that she was unresponsive after hearing of her brother's death in the White Tiger Corps. The farmer looked her over one more time, she had the spirit of her father in her, an invisible but blinding radiance that echoed that of his departed friend.

_Hamano why don't you come with me to the dojo today?_

_My hands are better off working the fields Masahiro. Our family is not as fortunate as yours._

_Stop saying that! If you'd just go…_

_I did! Don't you remember? They turned me away._

_Maybe if we try again…_

_Baka! My family is not samurai! Why don't you just go with your friends!_

_Hey now… Don't get mad. Here, give me that pail and I'll get some water for you._

_Careful you don't fall on the rice paddies stupid!_

_Heh… Just because I'm not a farmer… Hell I'll beat you in this too stupid!_

_You can't beat the best stupid!_

Ueda let out a sigh and washed his hands in the basin. Washing his neck he turned and saw Yaso holding out a towel for him.

"Ah thank you Yaso." He smiled, the young woman was kind like her father. How unfortunate that she did not remember him, another casualty of the war. He vaguely wondered if she ever found it strange that he consented keeping her here, in the midst of men who did not know each other, until coming here to Tonami.

"Ueda-san… You're sweating profusely." She worried about it since the ice cold winds from the north had been relentless lately. "After you eat, please take a rest. I'll take over."

Normally he would say no, but propriety has no place in the situation they found themselves in. "I've finished harrowing the earth, however there are a lot of wild grass that needs to be taken out before we can plant the seedlings."

"Hai…" She bowed.

"Take the Hori-hori it should be more forgiving on your hands."

"Oh Ueda-san, I'm not worried about that."

The old man nooded, of course she shouldn't. Even if she didn't remember that she used to visit and play in his fields once, the body should know what to do and as far as he saw, Masahiro raised his only daughter well.

* * *

Ichinouhe Denpachi… Not bad for a spur of the moment choice. He made his way down the dirty road, his frowned that he could not keep his waraji clean. The settlement was a busy place, some of the thatch roofs for the makeshift houses were still being constructed and as he passed by a flatland, he noticed several men tilling the land. Looking more closely he was aghast to realize that some of them were using swords to rip the ground apart. Not in his wildest imagination would he have used his beloved blade in such a manner, but he only shook his head because he did sell his kunishige to one of the guards in Sooji temple for relatively the same reason, to get by…

"Tokio-sama! Please don't leave like that. It is still dangerous out here."

"And why would I be in danger here Aki? We're with our own kind."

"Please Kurosawa-san would be angry if he found out you were going out on your own…"

"And –who- will tell him?"

Saitou watched the two women a few feet away. Frankly he was surprised to see servant and master, he'd have thought such practices would be null in a barren place such as this. But he chided himself for thinking such naïve thoughts, Aizu was a proud clan. Of course, the disparities have always been present ever since he was a child. The son of a samurai who bought the title was treated well in public but hounded in private. Vaguely he wondered who this young woman was, aside from her name "Tokio", to have a servant, she must either be a very important person or acquainted with important people. He walked over to them, grinning slightly.

"Good day madame." He bowed slightly.

"Who are you?"

"Ichinouhe Denpachi, newly settled into Tonami." He bowed again, thinking that he should add "at your service" for –effect- but decided not to. To his surprise the woman turned on her heel and started walking back.

"Gomenasai Ichinouhe-san… Tokio-sama is not feeling well today." The servant girl bowed and was again at Tokio's heel, trying to keep up with her.

He smirked slightly. Not feeling well? Or is my ragged clothes, unshaven face, a bother to look at? He scowled slightly. He knew they will meet again.

* * *

It was almost sundown when he decided to go back to the administration building. He had surveyed most of the area and found to his disappointment that surviving here would be difficult. A sound of someone grunting caught his attention and he looked to his right. On the field was someone who was having a tug of war with some weeds, he walked over quietly and found a woman breaking out into a sweat on that cold evening.

"Here let me pull that out for you." He wasn't prone to helping anyone of course, but he made an exception today. He'd rather have no "grunting" going on especially if it was a woman. All the women he's been with in Kyoto were refined; one in particular named Aioi was the epitome of how a woman should've been, even if she was a courtesan.

"No. I'm almost done." She motioned over to a pile of weeds, "I can do this."

"Suit yourself then." He stood behind her, amusing himself. With another grunt, comparative to that of a man, she was able to finally pluck the stubborn grass from the earth, unfortunately she feel backwards towards his legs. On instinct, he caught her back and pulled her up.

"Oh!" She cried surprised of the strong hands on her shoulder. She cringed slightly.

"That's the last one I hope? I'd hate to have to catch you each time…" He teased her slightly, knowing it made the short haired woman uncomfortable.

"It is… Sumanai…" Turning around, Yaso craned her neck slightly and tried to bend her shoulders that had gone stiff. Of course this did not escape Saitou's attention.

"How long have you been at this?"

"A little bit after lunch."

"Sou ka. No wonder you're so stiff. Go home; it's too dark to tarry here."

She bowed slightly. "Your name?"

"Denpachi." They'd probably not talk to each other again so he didn't bother to ask for her name, which was just fine for him. He parted from her at the main road and headed back to the administration building.

* * *

After the normal hours were over, two men were left alone in the building. They had been exchanging curious looks since Ichinouhe entered the building, but Yamakawa was smart enough to know that if he, Yamaguchi Jirou opted to be listed under a pseudo-name, then it was unwise to bring it up to the open. Standing up from his desk, he rummaged for a sake bottle and two cups.

"You devil…"

"Indeed Hiroshi…"

"Why'd you come back here?"

"I have no place else to go I guess." Saitou shrugged.

"And you changed your name –again-."

"It's much easier don't you think?"

"Not really… We have comrades here who survived the war and will know you by face. They'll talk."

"Let them. As long as I do not admit to it, then it will always be a rumor."

"That the demon from the Shinsengumi is back? One of Aizu's heroes is in their midst." Yamakawa chuckled slightly and offered Saitou a drink, to which the other gladly accepted. "Really I think you'd be better off, if everyone knew."

"I want to start over again." Saitou lied through his teeth.

"Maa… I'll respect that."

"Care to bring me up to date Hiroshi or should I say Commander?"

The bearded man grinned slyly. "Commander would be appropriate or Chairman."

The former Shinsengumi chuckled and shrugged.

"Well let's see… Kambei will be joining us soon. He is still in Aizu mobilizing the transfers. My family of course is here and some of the men under my wing who survived the war have settled. If you remember Takagi Kohachirou…"

"Yes I do. He was a rather obstinate man, according to the others."

"Difficult indeed but his family has been a retainer of the Daimyo for a long time."

Ichinouhe bowed his head, "Sumanai, I did not mean it as an insult."

"Of course not…" Yamakawa continued, "That would probably be an accurate description, however we must let the dead be at peace."

"Sou ka…"

"He is survived by a son and daughter though. The son, Morinusuke is in Tokyo right now and his daughter is staying at Kurosawa's."

"Kurosawa?" The wolf tilted his head in inquiry.

"A merchant… He runs a small business here and we are depending on him for supplies in between the Hachinouhe han and Morioka."

"Sou ka."

"I will speak with Kurosawa-san, perhaps you can stay there and work for him. He's been taking good care of Takagi's daughter and I'm sure there is room." Hiroshi finished his drink and looked up, "Of course I'll expect you to do manual labor to build this town."

"Gonohe… You mean..." He smirked.

"Yes… With the Matsudaira-sama in seclusion and a child as our Daimyo…"

"Understood."

"It is good to see you once again 'Ichinouhe-kun'".

* * *

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine… RK is Watsuki's and Sony's… Quite a few history things in here that will be clarified below. Remember that this is RK Saitou thrown into a history setting. I've done some reading into Akama's book and some other books for the people involved and the setting. Some of the circumstances are true and some are made up, this is clearly a fictional account on Saitou's life in Tonami. Characterization of Saitou was taken from Watsuki-sensei… The others like Ueda, Kurosawa, Yaso and Yamakawa, are mostly fictional but within reason. As for Tokio, she is taken from what I like and don't like in fandom and of course for a more realistic basis, Akama's first book.

Notes:

Shinoda Yaso – Saitou's first wife

Takagi Tokio – Saitou's second wife

Takagi Kohachirou – dead father of Tokio

Yaeko – a member of the Joushitai, Aizu women's brigade

Yamakawa Hiroshi – was an army leader in the Aizu war, most known for his smuggling people into Aizu

Matsudaira – Daimyo of Aizu (or ex-daimyo at this point)

Sooji temple – the place where Saitou was a POW

Tonami – northern peninsula in Japan where most Aizu people settled after losing the war

Gonohe – the Aizu village in Tonami

Kunishige – Saitou's sword

Sagawa Kambei – a comrade in arms of Hiroshi and Saitou

Shizuko Akama – she's not in this story but she is an influence to it. She is a well-noted researcher on Saitou.

Hori-hori - flat blade garden knife

waraji - straw footwear – used in older times


End file.
